my friend mel always says that my unisheet theory is actually my thesis, but i'm not even sure it's a blog. having been briefly married at a young age i've had the benefit or punishment of dating for well over 15 years. i've been thinking about single men and the unisheet for some time, and only recently have been taking an unofficial poll from other women, whenever i think of it, if their partners were once unisheet guys, and if there a general profile for potential unisheet abusers.
first, let me define unisheet for any woman (or man who may genuinely be unaware they are offenders), i define the unisheet phenomenon as generally the single male who seemingly comfortably and unconsciously sleeps in his bed, whatever the size, with a frame or on the floor is not important here--but they are able to sleep with a single fitted bed sheet and some covering, i.e. comforter, bedspread, quilt--that serves the duel purpose of top sheet and covering.
in my experience, the usual suspect was a single 20-30 year old male who either wasn't worried about bringing women home, or had after leaving home forgotten that his mother used a second sheet when changing his bed for him. i also generalized them as middle income guys, who may or may not have chosen college, but by and large weren't stock brokers or young attorney's on the rise, although some of them may qualify.
oddly enough, what i have uncovered from my ongoing survey is that while some of my assumptions may be correct, i had never considered some factions, had been totally wrong about some of my male acquaintances, and at least one whole concept i had never even considered.
one friend was briefly engaged to a consumer credit attorney, who was somewhat recently divorced, who used the excuse that his wife kept all the linens to be a unisheet guy. the punchline to this kind of guy is that while he had an american express card with which he could have easily purchased a german automobile, it had seemingly not occurred to him to charge some full sets of bed linens. the question here is, was this just some bitter rebellion on his part to spite his ex wife by stubbornly using what he was left, or maybe just the inner frat boy reemerging as he entered the beginning of middle age?
i naturally assumed from the start of my quest that any single guy who limited not just his bathing but the frequency with which he did laundry would be a unisheet guy. a friend of my own boyfriends wore the same button up, short sleeve summer shirt the entire summer (which of course i termed the unishirt). i have it on good authority from my boyfriend, that his basement apartment and especially his bedroom would make any self respecting pig want it for his own sty, did have a complete set of sheets, including some form of comforter on his bed. go figure?
the real situation i never considered was the mother factor. several of the women i queried who dated post pubescent males, and stuck with them over an extended period of time until they grew up and committed , were perfect unisheet candidates, and left to their own devices probably would have gone in that direction. but apparently if your mother gives you one complete set of sheets as a house/apartment warming gift, or a gratitude gift since she has washed her last sheet and changed his bed for the last time before turning it into a guest room, he gets a booby prize. apparently if a man is given and possess one single set of sheets, realizes they came as a set, while they may only clean and change them semi annually, they use all available components. again, a situation i never considered!
now my blog would not dare to approach the issue of pillow cases, which in my experience they all have use, where they came from and what they matched in a former life is just more than even i want to contemplate.
in an added, i think upbeat note. the unishirted friend of my boyfriend is probably in his mid twenties and lacks any serious carnal knowledge of a female. recently, a relative left him a small windfall, for him anyway, and he had developed a serious phone relationship with a girl, which was leading up to dinner and a movie at his place. now i have had good dates, bad dates, expensive dates, dates that aren't aware stalking is illegal in all 50 states, but i must say, no one has ever spent the time, money or energy on a first or even last date that his friend did. he and my boyfriend spent two entire days cleaning, plugging in wallflowers and burning candles. that would have been a nice gesture, but he essentially bought the bed in the bag complete set of new linens, martha stewart provided a new 20 piece dinner set, as well as corresponding knives, forks, spoons and glasses. on the one hand i'm vaguely jealous, on another hand it gives me hope for men of the future, but alas, all that work and lasagna and she stopped taking his calls.
maybe this could be one of life's disappointments that will send him into a unisheet frenzy.
first, let me define unisheet for any woman (or man who may genuinely be unaware they are offenders), i define the unisheet phenomenon as generally the single male who seemingly comfortably and unconsciously sleeps in his bed, whatever the size, with a frame or on the floor is not important here--but they are able to sleep with a single fitted bed sheet and some covering, i.e. comforter, bedspread, quilt--that serves the duel purpose of top sheet and covering.
in my experience, the usual suspect was a single 20-30 year old male who either wasn't worried about bringing women home, or had after leaving home forgotten that his mother used a second sheet when changing his bed for him. i also generalized them as middle income guys, who may or may not have chosen college, but by and large weren't stock brokers or young attorney's on the rise, although some of them may qualify.
oddly enough, what i have uncovered from my ongoing survey is that while some of my assumptions may be correct, i had never considered some factions, had been totally wrong about some of my male acquaintances, and at least one whole concept i had never even considered.
one friend was briefly engaged to a consumer credit attorney, who was somewhat recently divorced, who used the excuse that his wife kept all the linens to be a unisheet guy. the punchline to this kind of guy is that while he had an american express card with which he could have easily purchased a german automobile, it had seemingly not occurred to him to charge some full sets of bed linens. the question here is, was this just some bitter rebellion on his part to spite his ex wife by stubbornly using what he was left, or maybe just the inner frat boy reemerging as he entered the beginning of middle age?
i naturally assumed from the start of my quest that any single guy who limited not just his bathing but the frequency with which he did laundry would be a unisheet guy. a friend of my own boyfriends wore the same button up, short sleeve summer shirt the entire summer (which of course i termed the unishirt). i have it on good authority from my boyfriend, that his basement apartment and especially his bedroom would make any self respecting pig want it for his own sty, did have a complete set of sheets, including some form of comforter on his bed. go figure?
the real situation i never considered was the mother factor. several of the women i queried who dated post pubescent males, and stuck with them over an extended period of time until they grew up and committed , were perfect unisheet candidates, and left to their own devices probably would have gone in that direction. but apparently if your mother gives you one complete set of sheets as a house/apartment warming gift, or a gratitude gift since she has washed her last sheet and changed his bed for the last time before turning it into a guest room, he gets a booby prize. apparently if a man is given and possess one single set of sheets, realizes they came as a set, while they may only clean and change them semi annually, they use all available components. again, a situation i never considered!
now my blog would not dare to approach the issue of pillow cases, which in my experience they all have use, where they came from and what they matched in a former life is just more than even i want to contemplate.
in an added, i think upbeat note. the unishirted friend of my boyfriend is probably in his mid twenties and lacks any serious carnal knowledge of a female. recently, a relative left him a small windfall, for him anyway, and he had developed a serious phone relationship with a girl, which was leading up to dinner and a movie at his place. now i have had good dates, bad dates, expensive dates, dates that aren't aware stalking is illegal in all 50 states, but i must say, no one has ever spent the time, money or energy on a first or even last date that his friend did. he and my boyfriend spent two entire days cleaning, plugging in wallflowers and burning candles. that would have been a nice gesture, but he essentially bought the bed in the bag complete set of new linens, martha stewart provided a new 20 piece dinner set, as well as corresponding knives, forks, spoons and glasses. on the one hand i'm vaguely jealous, on another hand it gives me hope for men of the future, but alas, all that work and lasagna and she stopped taking his calls.
maybe this could be one of life's disappointments that will send him into a unisheet frenzy.
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