my last recycled semi blogger attempt--from just last week.
Dude--it's really time to get it together! I saw your picture in People this past week and you didn't look well! And, dare I say it?? You don't have to go through the rest of your life riding on the Two Corey's express. Corey Feldman does appear to be at a better place than you. But all things being equal, he isn't getting by as much on his talent these days as he is promoting himself and his wife as human sandwich boards in LA. Hey, making a good buck and living the life is certainly a talent in itself, but . . .
he shouldn't like reading the articles which imply that only next to you does he look good. And most importantly, you should watch a few episodes of your own reality show and get a final belly full of looking bad in comparison. Suck it up! Man up! Whatever catch phrase works best for you. You can rationalize your need to remain a flawed man child to some dime store doctor Phyllis wannabe, while watching yourself on Child Stars Gone Bad, or you can start working on being the next Come Back Kid. Hey, I read the other day that Eric Roberts is off the D-List. Robert Downey, Jr is the clean and sober Iron Man. If life is broken down into chapters, and reinvention is the new mother of invention, you were a wildly successful child star. You parlayed that success into ruin with drugs, bad choices and reality tv. Now you have the opportunity for the next chapter--cautionary Hollywood tale of disaster becomes go to guy for gritty movie roles. See the distinction?
Being intervened by Todd Bridges, Pauly Shores and the two Feldman's should be the last straw in a Surreal Reality Gone Bad.
Another opportunity. When you are back in the bosom of the Green Lighted community, maybe you can save Corey Feldman from going down in a flame of merchandising and franchising.
Good luck to you both.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
potter and the deathly gallow, from 5/30/2007
this little ditty was so bad, even before the potter wave, the locale free paper wouldn't even publish it--even with accompanying photos!!!
In the study of literature, there has long been an academic school of thought that there are only a handful of original stories and every piece of literature is a variation inspired by one of these originals. Harry Potter and his British version of the " Scooby Gang " at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, seem remarkably like cousins from across the pond to the young inhabitants of Sunnydale, California in Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Characterization
1997 is the year the first book, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone was released, and Joss Weldon first aired Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Harry vs. Buffy? Harry and Buffy both begin as unsuspecting teens who suddenly find themselves chosen to fight the forces of evil, each gifted with super powers for the purpose of saving the world as they know it. And an angst ridden couple they make. First, they are both bound by a certain amount of secrecy-Harry must return yearly to his Muggle relatives where he is occasionally in mortal peril, but is restricted from using his powers outside the walls of Hogwarts. Not to mention that his warnings to the Ministry of Magic that Voldamort is not just a spirit thing, but now alive and well and ready to rumble go unheeded , until the Death Eaters actually stage smack down right in the Ministry of Magic!
Buffy spends two full seasons having to first sneak out of her bedroom window, just to get to the vampires. In the final episode of Season Two, Buffy had a lot of explaining to do-she must confess to her mother that not only is she the Slayer, but the smell of teen spirit has now reverted Angel, her 200 year old boyfriend into the uber evil vampire, Angelis. As Season Two ends Buffy delivers the mortal blow, sending Angel to some dark hell dimension just as Willow completes the incantation that restores his soul.
Second, both of these characters spend quite a bit of their time lamenting the injustice of it all. Shouldn't saving the world be enough? Shouldn't they get a deck of get out of jail free cards excusing them from high school, puberty, relationships? Harry has to endure a return to the Dursely's every year in order to ensure his protection. Buffy has to get a job at the Doublemeat Palace to pay for the plumbing. And there is always darker evil just around the corner for them both.
The main character in both series' seem to have an almost "doppelganger" counterpart. Primarily, The Brain and the Comic Relief, or as they are properly know; Hermoine Granger and Willow Rosenberg, Ron Weasley and Xander Harris. Hermoine and Willow are both brilliant and commonly referred to as the greatest witches of their generation. Ron on the other hand is a mediocre wizard and Xander has no superpowers at all, but their strength lies in their dedication and loyalty to the Chosen Ones.
While Giles as Buffy's faithful Watcher is arguably not as powerful a character as the great wizard, Albus Dumbledore, both represent the father figure absent from the young super heroes' lives. And the Ministry of magic provides the same dark foil for Harry as the Watcher's Council represents to Buffy. Add in a werewolf, professors or teachers who aren't who they appear to be, and all you are missing is a vampire, and maybe Draco Mayfoy will prove to fill that void, yet. Seven proves an important and magical number for both series, as Buffy the Vampire Slayer ran for seven season and Harry Potter will conclude with the 7th installment.
The Battle of Good vs. Evil
If the characters in Harry Potter resemble the modern day Buffy cast, the progression of the characters from innocence in to darker and darker peril, borrow movement and pace of a more Tolkienesque nature. Consider the journey of Frodo and his faithful hobbit companions as they encounter stronger and progressively more evil forces as they venture toward the darkest depths of Mordor. Although the Lord of the Rings could certainly be combined as one continuous story and Harry Potter begins each volume as a distinct adventure, Tolkien generally gives his characters a respite between battles in much the same way as Rowling's gives Harry a summer vacation usually away from the more dangerous magical world of the School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. This respite is nowhere more obvious than at the end of Book Six where despite the death of Dumbledore and the obligatory return to the Dursley's, the book ends with Harry looking forward to attending the wedding of Bill Weasley and Fleur Delacour with his friends, before what is certain to become the famous final confrontation between Harry and the Dark Lord. Just as symbolic, a band of friends and faithful followers diligently work to thwart the opposing forces, yet it the end, just as it was Frodo's destiny to destroy the ring, as the bells toll for the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, it will be almost certainly be Harry's destiny alone as, "Either must die at the hand of the other, for neither can live while the other survives."
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows will be released at 12:01 AM, Saturday, July 21, 2007.
Beverley Thompson Warrick
the unisheet, from april 2006
my friend mel always says that my unisheet theory is actually my thesis, but i'm not even sure it's a blog. having been briefly married at a young age i've had the benefit or punishment of dating for well over 15 years. i've been thinking about single men and the unisheet for some time, and only recently have been taking an unofficial poll from other women, whenever i think of it, if their partners were once unisheet guys, and if there a general profile for potential unisheet abusers.
first, let me define unisheet for any woman (or man who may genuinely be unaware they are offenders), i define the unisheet phenomenon as generally the single male who seemingly comfortably and unconsciously sleeps in his bed, whatever the size, with a frame or on the floor is not important here--but they are able to sleep with a single fitted bed sheet and some covering, i.e. comforter, bedspread, quilt--that serves the duel purpose of top sheet and covering.
in my experience, the usual suspect was a single 20-30 year old male who either wasn't worried about bringing women home, or had after leaving home forgotten that his mother used a second sheet when changing his bed for him. i also generalized them as middle income guys, who may or may not have chosen college, but by and large weren't stock brokers or young attorney's on the rise, although some of them may qualify.
oddly enough, what i have uncovered from my ongoing survey is that while some of my assumptions may be correct, i had never considered some factions, had been totally wrong about some of my male acquaintances, and at least one whole concept i had never even considered.
one friend was briefly engaged to a consumer credit attorney, who was somewhat recently divorced, who used the excuse that his wife kept all the linens to be a unisheet guy. the punchline to this kind of guy is that while he had an american express card with which he could have easily purchased a german automobile, it had seemingly not occurred to him to charge some full sets of bed linens. the question here is, was this just some bitter rebellion on his part to spite his ex wife by stubbornly using what he was left, or maybe just the inner frat boy reemerging as he entered the beginning of middle age?
i naturally assumed from the start of my quest that any single guy who limited not just his bathing but the frequency with which he did laundry would be a unisheet guy. a friend of my own boyfriends wore the same button up, short sleeve summer shirt the entire summer (which of course i termed the unishirt). i have it on good authority from my boyfriend, that his basement apartment and especially his bedroom would make any self respecting pig want it for his own sty, did have a complete set of sheets, including some form of comforter on his bed. go figure?
the real situation i never considered was the mother factor. several of the women i queried who dated post pubescent males, and stuck with them over an extended period of time until they grew up and committed , were perfect unisheet candidates, and left to their own devices probably would have gone in that direction. but apparently if your mother gives you one complete set of sheets as a house/apartment warming gift, or a gratitude gift since she has washed her last sheet and changed his bed for the last time before turning it into a guest room, he gets a booby prize. apparently if a man is given and possess one single set of sheets, realizes they came as a set, while they may only clean and change them semi annually, they use all available components. again, a situation i never considered!
now my blog would not dare to approach the issue of pillow cases, which in my experience they all have use, where they came from and what they matched in a former life is just more than even i want to contemplate.
in an added, i think upbeat note. the unishirted friend of my boyfriend is probably in his mid twenties and lacks any serious carnal knowledge of a female. recently, a relative left him a small windfall, for him anyway, and he had developed a serious phone relationship with a girl, which was leading up to dinner and a movie at his place. now i have had good dates, bad dates, expensive dates, dates that aren't aware stalking is illegal in all 50 states, but i must say, no one has ever spent the time, money or energy on a first or even last date that his friend did. he and my boyfriend spent two entire days cleaning, plugging in wallflowers and burning candles. that would have been a nice gesture, but he essentially bought the bed in the bag complete set of new linens, martha stewart provided a new 20 piece dinner set, as well as corresponding knives, forks, spoons and glasses. on the one hand i'm vaguely jealous, on another hand it gives me hope for men of the future, but alas, all that work and lasagna and she stopped taking his calls.
maybe this could be one of life's disappointments that will send him into a unisheet frenzy.
first, let me define unisheet for any woman (or man who may genuinely be unaware they are offenders), i define the unisheet phenomenon as generally the single male who seemingly comfortably and unconsciously sleeps in his bed, whatever the size, with a frame or on the floor is not important here--but they are able to sleep with a single fitted bed sheet and some covering, i.e. comforter, bedspread, quilt--that serves the duel purpose of top sheet and covering.
in my experience, the usual suspect was a single 20-30 year old male who either wasn't worried about bringing women home, or had after leaving home forgotten that his mother used a second sheet when changing his bed for him. i also generalized them as middle income guys, who may or may not have chosen college, but by and large weren't stock brokers or young attorney's on the rise, although some of them may qualify.
oddly enough, what i have uncovered from my ongoing survey is that while some of my assumptions may be correct, i had never considered some factions, had been totally wrong about some of my male acquaintances, and at least one whole concept i had never even considered.
one friend was briefly engaged to a consumer credit attorney, who was somewhat recently divorced, who used the excuse that his wife kept all the linens to be a unisheet guy. the punchline to this kind of guy is that while he had an american express card with which he could have easily purchased a german automobile, it had seemingly not occurred to him to charge some full sets of bed linens. the question here is, was this just some bitter rebellion on his part to spite his ex wife by stubbornly using what he was left, or maybe just the inner frat boy reemerging as he entered the beginning of middle age?
i naturally assumed from the start of my quest that any single guy who limited not just his bathing but the frequency with which he did laundry would be a unisheet guy. a friend of my own boyfriends wore the same button up, short sleeve summer shirt the entire summer (which of course i termed the unishirt). i have it on good authority from my boyfriend, that his basement apartment and especially his bedroom would make any self respecting pig want it for his own sty, did have a complete set of sheets, including some form of comforter on his bed. go figure?
the real situation i never considered was the mother factor. several of the women i queried who dated post pubescent males, and stuck with them over an extended period of time until they grew up and committed , were perfect unisheet candidates, and left to their own devices probably would have gone in that direction. but apparently if your mother gives you one complete set of sheets as a house/apartment warming gift, or a gratitude gift since she has washed her last sheet and changed his bed for the last time before turning it into a guest room, he gets a booby prize. apparently if a man is given and possess one single set of sheets, realizes they came as a set, while they may only clean and change them semi annually, they use all available components. again, a situation i never considered!
now my blog would not dare to approach the issue of pillow cases, which in my experience they all have use, where they came from and what they matched in a former life is just more than even i want to contemplate.
in an added, i think upbeat note. the unishirted friend of my boyfriend is probably in his mid twenties and lacks any serious carnal knowledge of a female. recently, a relative left him a small windfall, for him anyway, and he had developed a serious phone relationship with a girl, which was leading up to dinner and a movie at his place. now i have had good dates, bad dates, expensive dates, dates that aren't aware stalking is illegal in all 50 states, but i must say, no one has ever spent the time, money or energy on a first or even last date that his friend did. he and my boyfriend spent two entire days cleaning, plugging in wallflowers and burning candles. that would have been a nice gesture, but he essentially bought the bed in the bag complete set of new linens, martha stewart provided a new 20 piece dinner set, as well as corresponding knives, forks, spoons and glasses. on the one hand i'm vaguely jealous, on another hand it gives me hope for men of the future, but alas, all that work and lasagna and she stopped taking his calls.
maybe this could be one of life's disappointments that will send him into a unisheet frenzy.
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It Blows to Co-star with Ralph Fiennes in a Film!
Granted, for a cinephile I am way behind on keeping up to date. But I have a $200 a month cable bill from Adelphia so I've been force to trade date nights and video rentals for On Demand any time of the day or night, but that rant is probably another blog! Just this morning, around 5 AM, when I switched from Starz On Demand to HBO On Demand, I went with The Constant Gardener. Not that I didn't like it, just to be clear. As a matter of fact I went back and watched the beginning that I maybe closed my eyes through the first time, again, just to be sure I hadn't missed anything. But, what in the Bloody Hell is up with Ralph Fiennes. It seemed to me about 3/4 of the way through Africa that he has become a one man genre. The only thing missing from his later day filmography is the Merchant Ivory Productions in the credits. It's like the same movie, gliding over a European Continent, where a vaguely manish introvert in well tailored dress, gets sidelined from his mission in life for the love of a woman. Pretty much David Bowie circa The Man Who Fell to Earth, minus the contacts and the 70's prono soundtrack. And the poor object of his affection and attention always dies, usually from a prolonged or painful death. I know Schindler's List is one of those great train wrecks of a movies that you have to see, but you hate to watch. You know, like Leaving Las Vegas or something Tom Cruise has done in the last couple years. You don't get ranked #15 on the American Film Institute's Villains list in their compilation of the 100 years of The Greatest Screen Heroes and Villains by being the good guy. I still remember seeing that film for the first time and just being mesmerized and revolted, all at the same time. Where have you gone Amon Goeth? My brother would say there goes a man who knows how to treat his women! Alright, granted, playing Amon Goeth in your first bankable role is something akin to being Orson Welles and making Citizen Kane your first time out of the gate. Even so, I really like The English Patient. It isn't one of those have to own, have to watch and re watch like making my pilgrimage to the water lapping on the hull of the Titanic (even cinephiles can be women, too), but it speaks to me. We can wrap up with ensemble roles at the end of this blog, but for the time being let's just go with my third eye blind that is reliving in The English Patient, The End of the Affair, and The Constant Gardener. Consider this movie fan, let's conceive of film in similar terms to her sister art, literature, and imagine that there may be only a handful of original books, because the average prolific author was influenced by something he had already read. Ralph Fiennes is caught in some karmic black hole where he is force to make the same movie over and over again. Sort of The Remains of the Day meets the Twilight Zone. I don't dislike the movies, I simply feel bad for any actress who signs on for a script that he is attached to. The girly man who only steps up to the plate when the woman is dead, he should be made up like Brad Pitt in Interview With the Vampire so we can see him coming.
Okay, so when I started this diatribe I was blissfully forgetful of the truly latest Fiennes incarnation. Lord Voldermorte, or he who I almost forgot to name. Agreed, in the world of teenage witches and wizards (who for six books were forbidden to practice magic without proper parental supervision), Lord Voldermorte is the red headed cousin of Amon Goeth. Ralph, look inside, go back to your roots, play a man to be reckoned with for more than 10 minutes a film!!!
This is my blog, you'll think about it later.
Okay, so when I started this diatribe I was blissfully forgetful of the truly latest Fiennes incarnation. Lord Voldermorte, or he who I almost forgot to name. Agreed, in the world of teenage witches and wizards (who for six books were forbidden to practice magic without proper parental supervision), Lord Voldermorte is the red headed cousin of Amon Goeth. Ralph, look inside, go back to your roots, play a man to be reckoned with for more than 10 minutes a film!!!
This is my blog, you'll think about it later.
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